This week on The Island of Misfit Toys, we find Azeem from Kenner’s Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves toy line. Released in the summer of 1991, Prince of Thieves was a pretty laughable summer blockbuster starring Kevin Costner doing a weird faux-English accent as Robin Hood. I’ve never been a big fan of the film, but I will admit Prince of Thieves has some nice moments. Most of them are provided by Alan Rickman (doing a twisted take on the Sheriff of Nottingham) and Morgan Freeman’s wise, stoic Moor.

The Prince of Thieves toy line harkens back to a simpler time when toy companies could get away with more to save money. The entire line of Robin Hood toys is a Frankenstein creation whereby Kenner Toys took existing parts and pieces of previously successful toy lines and retrofitted them awkwardly into a new brand. It seems the majority of pieces for these toys and vehicles were pieced together from Kenner’s Super Powers and Star Wars lines.

PACKAGING

As you can see from the above image, the blister card displays the Prince of Thieves logo and Azeem prominently. The back of the card lists the various characters included in the line (Two Robin Hoods, two bad guys, and assorted Merry Men) and some vehicles. Especially notable is Kenner’s re-use of the Ewok Village playset as Sherwood Forest; some of these reuses are God-awful, but that one particular repurposing was rather clever.

SCULPTING

The Super Powers toy line was one of the best sculpted toy lines of its’ time. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves simply uses a bunch of those previously sculpted pieces. Action Figure Insider has a rather thorough run-down of the entire toy line, including Azeem. He used the Super Powers Green Arrow arms which are really awkward on this body.

It’s strange, but not as strange as say, the inclusion of a “G” belt buckle on Robin Hood or the use of the Gamorrean Guard body for Friar Tuck.

PAINT

Minimal. Most of the flourishes are saved for the cloth outfit included, and I’ll file that under “Accessories.” Under the cape and turbin, Azeem is cast in grey and dark blue plastic, with brown to highlight his hands and bare legs. He’s also been given a painted yellow belt. Frankly, I’m surprised Kenner even bothered with the paint applications they did, considering how “on the cheap” everything else is about the line.

I will give Kenner some points though – they thought enough to include some painted-on freckles to replicate Morgan Freeman’s signature look.

The actual face looks nothing like Freeman… but at least someone decided to try.

ARTICULATION

Azeem has the then-standard five points of articulation. He has a cut joint at the neck, shoulders, and hips. As mentioned, the majority of these parts were taken from Kenner’s Super Powers toy line. That line featured knee articulation for most of its’ action figures. That it wasn’t included in the Robin Hood retooling is kind of a shame… but again, clearly a cost-cutting measure.

ACCESSORIES

Azeem comes with two accessories: A scimitar and a removable cloak.

I’ve found a lot of modern toy collectors have a rather sour feeling about soft goods like cloth being used in toys. I always liked it as a kid, especially when the cloth pieces were removable. Azeem comes with a sort of turban/cloak one piece. It’s one of those accessories that’s a real pain in the butt to get off the character; once you’ve pulled it off the toy, you’ll never be able to get it back on. There’s also the added trouble of this being an over 20 year old toy. The material making up the cloak is some incredibly cheap fabric and it hasn’t aged well. The thing sort of… molts away whenever I touch it.

The scimitar is a fine, character appropriate accessory but again, cost cutting measures have ruined what could have been a decent weapon. This Azeem retool utilizes the Super Powers Green Arrow arms. Those arms were originally designed so that GA could hold a bow and arrow. They weren’t designed for this weapon so it sort of… hangs in Azeem’s hand. Not the best.

FUN FACTOR

Low, even considering the toy standards of the late 1980′s/early 1990′s. I gave this to my sons and they barely even looked at it before they were back to their Ninja Turtles.

OVERALL

Kenner cut every corner with this line and it shows. This is garage sale fodder for sure.

This week on the Island of Misfit Toys, we’re looking at Baron Dark from Playmates Toys’ Skeleton Warriors line of action figures.

Skeleton Warriors was a property that filtered quietly through pop culture in the mid-1990′s. They were featured in a 13 episode animated series and some ancillary merchandise (comic books, trading cards, and so on). The concept seems pretty unremarkable, a retread of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe featuring more skeletons this time around. The concept seems like something that was brainstormed in committee rather than any real artistic intent but I guess that’s how it is with most children’s toys.

I was interested to see Playmates Toys’ name attached to these figures. Playmates became a BIG toy company in the 1990′s. They had the stewardship of two of the biggest properties going in toy aisles at the time – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Star Trek. While TMNT were toys primarily for the kiddies, Star Trek was one of the first modern lines I remember to become INSTANTLY collectable amongst adult collectors. Trekkies all over the world were looking to complete their Enterprise Away Crew or whatever. While Skeleton Warriors is firmly aimed at children, there are some aspects of Playmates’ approach to the concept that lead me to believe they were also hoping to hook in older toy enthusiasts as well.

PACKAGING

The blister card features some nice graphics on the front, as well as a cardboard insert which gives the good Baron a short bio: He’s the “Powerful Warlord Leader of the Skeleton Legion.”

The back of the blister card includes a lot of information, including a rundown of the basic story behind the Skeleton Warriors concept…

A photograph of all the toys in the series, including the three hero characters…

The “Arsenal of Darkness” explaining the types of weapons Baron Dark employs and that old standard, the “cut out and save” collectors card with some vital stats.

Finally, it should be noted: Playmates has numbered the packages in individual assortments.

This was an attempt at catering to the collectables market. I find it hard to understand why a mass-marketed action figure would be deemed more collectable based on its’ stock number and Assortment number but this was the 1990′s. The toy collectable market was absolutely insane. I am sure there was some person out there in ’93 who was buying Skeleton Warriors based on a low SKU number or some other nonsense.

SCULPTING

Like I said, the mid 1990′s was an interesting time for the toy industry, most notably because of the influence Todd McFarlane’s Todd Toys/McFarlane Toys began to have on consumers. The Spawn line of action figures featured an amount of sculpting detail unprecedented in most toy lines of the time. Playmates often did some detailed sculpting on their Ninja Turtles figures but I see a lot of McFarlane influence on Baron Dark.

There’s lot of nice detail on the face and other skull accessories.

It’s cool to see a toy from a major company in this era getting SO much attention to detail. Unfortunately, a lot of that detail meant sacrificing playability. The toy has been sculpted in an overly-rendered “advancing” type of pose with both legs bent at odd angles to mimic walking. Getting Baron Dark to stand normally is a challenge. Further, the action figure includes a sculpted plastic cape, which not only blocks out a lot of the detail, but hinders articulation.

PAINT

Much of the toy remains in the original plastic color, but washed with sort of a dirty paint to bring out the sculpted details.

The toy is highlighted in the eyeballs and on the feet with vacuum-sealed gold paint, simulating a metallic effect. There’s also a purple diamond embedded in Dark’s head; this is the “Lightstar Crystal Fragment” which I guess gives him his magic skeleton powers or some such thing.

ARTICULATION

Baron Dark has six points of articulation, all cut joints: one at the head, one at either shoulder, one at the waist, and one at either hip. Again, the overly generous cape with its’ weird shrunken head shoulder pads greatly restricts almost all this articulation, which is a shame. You can argue there is a seventh point of articulation in the bearded skull Baron Dark wears on his chest; a separately molded piece, it spins in place but doesn’t offer much playability.

ACCESSORIES

Baron Dark comes with three accessories: A gun, a weird sort of axe, and Baron Dark’s “sword” which is more of a projectile weapon.

Although the back of the packaging shows these weapons cast in a gold and black manner, green, purple and red seemed to have been swapped in. They look a bit incongruous in the Baron’s hands.

FUN FACTOR

After taking these pictures, I immediately handed Baron Dark over to my 3 year old son Henry and he’s been playing with him quite a bit. He’s a good all-purpose bad guy… which some have hypothesized might have been the problem with Skeleton Warriors in the first place. The first wave of these toys consisted of nothing but bad guys, as they’re by far the most interesting looking characters in the property. That’s all well and good, but without heroes to fight… well, Skeleton Warriors was a bit of a non-starter in the toy aisles.

OVERALL

While there are things to like about Baron Dark, I can see why Skeleton Warriors was a miss as a ongoing property for children.

I know it’s the equivalent of recommending reruns to people who already watched something in first-run, but I’ve been reposting some of my older strips on my Tumblr blog, for those interested. I’ve been really pleasantly surprised with the reception my work has gotten over there and I’ve been featured on Tumblr’s Education tag numerous times in the past few months.

Cover price was $2.50, I got it for a quarter.

This is the second in a series of paperback novels Warner Books published, presumably in conjunction with their Superman franchise of movies starring Christopher Reeve. Superman II was released in theaters in 1980; presumably this book was in bookstores to capitalize on that film.

Before we get into the book itself, I want it stated for the record: I have been looking for a copy of Miracle Monday for YEARS. Every time I’m at a thrift store, whenever I’m browsing a used book store’s shelves… I’m looking for a copy of Miracle Monday. It’s been at the top of my “Most Wanted” list for awhile now. I had just about resigned myself to eBay when I happily ran across this copy in the wild a few months ago. Both Miracle Monday and the novel which preceded it (Superman: The Last Son of Krypton) have a reputation among fans of Superman as being a great representation of the character. When Superman fans discuss the BEST Superman stories ever told, Last Son/Miracle Monday regularly make many people’s list. High praise indeed for a character who usually appears in a visual medium; I wanted to check them out for myself.

I should also mention, although both books use Christopher Reeve’s image on their covers, neither Last Son of Krypton or Miracle Monday are novelizations of the films. These are brand new stories written by Maggin which use the Superman mythos in new an interesting ways.

The titular “Miracle Monday” is revealed to be a holiday regularly celebrated in 2857 as a day of great joy amongst humanity, although the origins of the celebration have, at that date far in the future, been forgotton. A time traveler from the future named Kristin Wells has come back to this era to learn the origins of Miracle Monday. This puts her into contact with Superman and his extended supporting cast of friends and enemies. As that drama is unfolding, Superman is being challenged by none other than Satan (here called Samael), who dispatches C.W. Saturn, one of his foremost demons, to demoralize and destroy the Man of Steel.

One of the things I quite enjoyed about Miracle Monday is the way Maggin tackles the conundrum of Superman’s secret identity. It’s a question many have pondered over the years: Is Superman the real guy… or is it Clark Kent acting as Superman? For much of my fan life, DC Comics made the decision that Superman was Clark Kent. If you woke this character up in the middle of the night without warning and said “WHAT’S YOUR NAME?” he’d say “I’m Clark Kent!” not “I’m Superman!”

That’s certainly one way to go with the character. Clark Kent grounds Superman and provides some relatable storytelling options. I enjoyed reading a lot of those comics… but for me, that choice rings false. It’s a bad choice because yes, Clark Kent is the human part of Superman… but Superman is NOT human. That’s an important distinction about the character because it’s a choice. Superman chooses to be human, he chooses to be Clark Kent. He doesn’t have to be Clark Kent, but he wants to be. He lives in the trenches with the rest of humanity… even though he’s much greater than all that.

I’ve always been more comfortable with the idea of Superman being the real guy and Clark Kent being the mask, the disguise. That’s the Superman Maggin’s writing here and it’s a beautiful thing. Early in the book, he confronts this idea directly by having Pa Kent dream about a despotic Superboy gradually coming to use his power to rule the Earth in any way he chooses. Later, there are lovely passages wherein Maggin has Superman detail just how much he loves Clark Kent and how hard he works on making the Kent identity believable. Check this passage out to see what I mean:

The novel continues to approach the concept of secret identity in interesting ways, but revealing those aspects would put us solidly in spoiler territory, so I’ll abstain. Suffice to say, Maggin does good work with the title character and pokes him in new directions vis a vis his dual nature.

Maggin doesn’t skimp on the supporting cast either, crafting both Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen as living, breathing people rather than props. My favorite take on Lois in this book happens when Lois is having a telephone conversation with her new friend Lena Thorul. Lois constantly seems on the verge of getting sidetracked from the story she’s telling Lena, and Lena keeps having to focus her. It’s a great scene showing how much is running through Lois’ mind and instantly colors the character for readers.

Some parts of Miracle Monday just put a smile on my face. The idea of Superman and Ray Bradbury being friends, the idea of Supes and Ray going to Disneyland and hanging out with Walt Disney…. this is a fantastic conceit, even if it’s just a small plot cul-de-sac that doesn’t directly affect the main narrative. In fact, unnecessary but illuminating details like these are Maggin’s speciality throughout the novel. An early reference to C.W. Saturn (the main antagonist of Miracle Monday) having once lost in a battle to Daniel Webster is another fun aside that deepens the story considerably without advancing it significantly.

I wasn’t totally thrilled with the last DC Comics Universe novel I read by Maggin, but that was more an adaptation than an original creation. Clearly Maggin has an expert handle on The Man of Steel; Miracle Monday more than earned its’ reputation in my opinion. It’s a fantastic book.

I’m sort of paraphrasing The Thief of Always by Clive Barker here and it’s true. Sometimes constantly waiting for some soon-to-come thing will blind you to what could happen in the now.

This is a follow-up to yesterday’s comic.

Of course, I know teachers who twist and contort the calendar to make it sound like we have less days. One colleague of mine recently told me that we technically have even less days than the students are saying because we teachers have a few professional development days coming up… and those days aren’t really teaching days, so they shouldn’t count toward the overall total.

I am not making that up.

I’m often amazed at students who think I should be at their beck and call whenever they have some small need.

I’m not going to put too much stock into these test scores, is I guess what I’m saying here.